Oh, Omid!
by Purfessorkitty
Summary: The funky junk adventures of our beloved little hooligan of the Walking Dead, Omid! I'll warn you right now that this is as random as hell. Rated T, for swearing, slight violence.
1. Story 1: BEN IS THE OFFICIAL MURDERER

**Oh, Omid!**

**A/N: My first TWD fanfiction. :D -No one claps- D: **

**This is about my favoritest character ever... **

**I was incredibly drunk on Dr. Pepper while writing this. **

* * *

"Hey, Lee." Omid started, walking towards the urban man.

"Yeah, Omid?" Lee asked.

"Have you seen Clementine anywhere?"

"OH SHIT! NO! WHERE DID SHE GO?!" Lee looked around frantically, having a panic attack.

"Over there, I think." Omid pointed at a herd of Walkers. Lee let out a girly shriek, rushing towards the horde while pulling a chair metal out of the oblivion. "Hold on, Clem! I'm coming!"

Omid watched him fight through the undead creatures, then snickered.

"Talk about an awesome prank, right Clem?"

Clementine smiled, walking out from behind Omid.

Just then, the door to the house slammed open. Kenny had accidentally threw the door off its hinges, making it clash to the ground. He held a beer bottle in his hand.

"What happened? Ben, what did you do?! You stay in your corner of shame!"

Ben just moped in the corner of the yard, next to the doghouse. The teen faced the corner of the fence, sighing quietly.

Kenny then noticed Lee and the zombies attacking him.

"NOT MAH ONLY URBAN FRIEND!" He cried, throwing his beer bottle at Ben then running while flailing his arms behind him towards Lee.

Omid laughed, falling on the ground and rolling around.

"OMFG, GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU SATANIC BEINGS!" Lee screeched, spasming around with the chair rather than taking regular swings.

After finally hitting a Walker with it, it made a peculiar squeaky noise, like a rubber toy, then disintegrated.

"Dafuq?" He looked up at the Walkers surrounding him.

"NO, PIKACHU. DON'T EAT ME!" He shouted at a Walker which had the face of a Pikachu and was directly in front of him.

"NO." Kyehnneh screeched at the zombie, kicking it in the stomach and causing it to collapse onto the ground. Kenny then dramatically turned towards Lee. "'EY, LEE. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THREE MINUTES!"

"AWWW YEEH. ISH KYEHNNEH." The two raised their hands, slapping their palms together in a high five of destiny and grace. The two then turned towards the Walkers.

Chuck then descended gracefully from the sky, a thousand little yellow birds carrying him.

"Yo." He greeted casually, holding a stop sign that he'd ripped from the street.

"It's Hobro!" Kenny grinned a grin that wasn't even reaching the limits of his face and going above his hat.

A sudden rock flew out of nowhere, ruining the whole scene. It hit Chuck in the side of the head, causing the birds to drop him on the ground.

"Dammit." He cursed, not being able to get up. The Walkers then went after him, devouring his flesh.

Lee fell to his knees, looking up towards the sky.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" Kenny cut him off, kicking him in his shins.

"WHAT DID THAT GUY EVER TO FOR MY FAMILY, LEE?" He asked with a picture of Ben's face taped onto his.

Ben then appeared from the shadows, creating a sudden earthquake with his presence.

"NOT NOW, BEN. YOU AIN'T HELPIN' KID." KenBen scolded as he swatted his arm back and hitting Ben in the face. Omid then barrel rolled by, popping up from the ground once he was a few feet away from them.

"You still got me, Lee! Bromid!" Lee looked at him, lowering his eyebrows.

"NYEH." He pushed Omid to the ground, crossing his arms afterwards with a pout.

Omid looked up at him with sad eyes. "I thought we were bros, Bro."

Lee looked down at him, a dark aura radiating from him.

**"We never were bros, Bro." **

The earth then shook, everyone falling on the ground. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Lee asked, pointing towards the street.

It was an army...

of Ducks.

"Isn't that your son, Kenneh? Asked Omid, poking the redneck's side.

Ben then looked at them, standing on the roof of the house somehow.

"IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, YOU GUYS!" He confessed. They looked over at him.

"I WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED EVERYONE. KATJAA, DUCK, CHUCK, BEN, SHAWN, BRIE, DOUG, CARLY, BEN, KENNY, BEN, KENNY'S WILL TO LIVE, LARRY, BEN, -COUGH-OMIDINSEASONTWO-COUGH- EVEN LEE. IT WAS ALL ME, GAIZ."

The atmosphere then turned dark and creepy, fire roaring up from the ground as it was split into pieces.

"GODDAMMIT, LEE." Kenny looked over at him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU DROP THAT SACK OF SHIT WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE?" Lee shrugged derpily.

Ben laughed hysterically. "MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!"

Kenny looked over the horizon, seeing the army of Ducks nearing them. He looked at the burning landscape, falling to his knees.

"YOU BURNED IT." He shouted, punching the ruined grass. "YOU BURNED IT ALL."

"YOU BURNED IT ALL TO HELL!" He rolled around back and forth on the ground, crying.

The Duck army then reached them, killing all of them one by one.

Ben continued to laugh, watching the horror.

.

.

.

Omid woke up with a start.

What the hell did he just dream about? He looked at his leg. It was still in terrible shape. He sighed, looking around.

No one was in sight. He heard footsteps shuffling down the hall.

The door swung open, revealing Ben.

"I KILLED EVERYONE, OMID!" He announced, blood all over him. He had a picture of his face stapled onto his face.

Omid fell off the bed in surprise. "HOLY FUCKLE-LUCKA-DING-DONG!"

.

.

.

Omid woke up with a start.

Dafuq?

He looked around. Nothing.

He had a dream within a dream. That's some cool shit.

He heard the sound of shuffling down the hall.

The door swung open, revealing...

A cat.

"Gengrich?" Omid asked, looking over. How the hell did his cat get here?

The cat then transformed into Ben wearing a photo of Clementine's face stapled on his face.

"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME!" He screeched.

"OMFGGGGG!" Omid screamed girlishly as he stared in horror.

...

He realized Ben wasn't there.

He looked down. That cut on his leg was probably making him hallucinate.

He sighed, letting his head fall back to the pillow.

Something then moved up from his bedside. He looked over.

It was Kenny.

"URBANS." He shouted randomly.

Omid screamed in horror, as if Kenny was a murderer attempting to kill him.

Then everything dramatically faded to black.

...

...

Goddammit, Ben.

* * *

**A/N: That was story one. OuO Is it good? No. It isn't. ;w;**

**STORY TWO SOON!**


	2. BOATS, URBANS, AND MY FAMILY, OH MY

**Oh, Omid!**

* * *

Once upon a time, in a zombie apocalyptic war outbreak, Omid broke his leg.

"OH MY GAED. GUYS! I CAN'T GET UP! STOP THE TRAIN!" He cried in sheer agony.

But Kenny, the train conductor, or dude driving the train thing, was all like, "FUCK NO. THIS IS FOR MY FAMILY LEE."

So poor little Omid had to lay there and get eaten by the zombie people.

But, Christa, his beloved girlfriend, ran to his side.

"GET UP. WHADDAYU DOIN'? GET ON THAT TRAIN."

So she helped Omid up, and the both of them ran to the train as fast as they could.

Lee, their friend who was aboard the train, reached to help Omid onto the train instead of Christa, which made Omid super pissed.

"WHY DID'NT YOU HELP CHRISTA ON THE TRAIN? YOU FUCKING ASSHAT."

So Lee went to go mope around in the corner in utter depression since he chose the wrong person to save although it would be the same either way.

Christa clambered onto the train as fast as she could, and the friends went off to Crawford or whatever because I forgot what they do now.

Lee walked to the front of the train, where his bro Kenny was.

Kenny was super duper sad, because his wife shot herself for the fact that their son was bitten by a monstrous undead creature, then Lee had to shoot his son.

Kenny was very family oriented. He'd have random outbreaks where he'd scream things about his family, even when no one was talking, or talking about anything related to his family. He also had mental problems. It was about time until he ran around the train screaming things in backwards and slamming everyone's faces in with a faucet pipe.

"Hey, Kenny. I understand that it's hard for you. Are you sure you're OK?" Lee asked softly, eyeing his friend carefully.

Kenny ignored him, murmuring something about urban people, rural people, and unicorns.

"Kenny?"

Kenny dramatically turned back in what seemed like wide-eyed fury.

Lee could see the dark, black purplish aura surrounding him.

"GET OFF MY BOAT." The Boatmaster demanded cruelly.

"This isn't even a boat, Ken-"

"IT IS WHAT I SAY IT IS. THIS IS FOR MY FAMILY, LEE."

"But your family's dead."

Kenny let out a scream of frustration, agony, horror, sadness, fury, magic, and every other emotion at Lee's words.

Ben stood at one part of the train, looking down at the fast moving tracks below the chains that bind the two train carts together. He thought about jumping off the ledge a couple times, but soon got over the idea.

Lee walked out from the main part of the train, walking up to him.

"Hey," He said.

Ben smiled, happy to see that Lee was talking to him. "H-hey."

"Bye." He stated afterwards, walking away.

Ben sadly looked back down at the tracks, having second thoughts about not jumping off the train.

. . .

"Lee! Lee!" Clementine smiled as she rushed to her father-like friend-guy. "Chuck gave me this bottle of this weird stuff. Am I allowed to drink it?" She asked, holding up a bottle of what she didn't learn yet was alcohol.

Lee scowled, looking back to Chuck who was currently drunk and sitting in the corner, laughing at the wall as if it were saying the most hilarious things. Though, Chuck was a bro, so it was OK if he gave Clementine whiskey.

"Fine. As long as you don't go drunk." Lee patted her head, and she let out a happy hurrah, then went to sit beside Chuck, who wasn't aware of her presence.

Then, all of the sudden, the train flew up from the tracks.

Everyone nearly fell off the train, since for the fact it was now hovering in the air by Kenny's evil satanic "MY FAMILY" powers.

Lee ran to the train's main part, finding a determined Kenny driving forwards through the sky.

"Kenny, what're you doing, man?" Lee asked his redneck friend.

Kenny didn't answer, shouting some nonsense about urban people and his family.

"MY FAMILY WOULD BE PROUD, LEE. THEY ALWAYS KNEW I COULD DRIVE A TRAIN. IN REALITY, I AM THE TRAIN MASTER."

Lee gasped in utter shock and horror.

"YOU'VE BETRAYED US ALL!" He screeched.

The train was now heading towards the ocean, everyone beginning to panic.

"WE CAN ALL JOIN MY FAMILY, LEE. WE CAN ALL GO TO HEAVEN- EXCEPT BEN, HE'S GOING TO FUCKING HELL."

Ben went to go mope around at the end of the train after hearing Kenny's words.

The train was now sitting above the ocean's surface, beginning to sink down into the blue.

Everyone had a heart attack before the train even touched the ocean, including Kenny, and they all died, the end.

...

Omid's dark brown eyes flashed open. He sat up quickly. looking around.

He was in the grass, and his leg was broken. Christa was running towards him from a fleeting train, shouting, "OMID. GET THE HELL UP."

Immediately, he got up and magically started running towards the train.

Lee grasped his arm, pulling him onto the open train cart as it was still moving.

Omid watched in sadness as Christa was trying to get onto the train herself.

"YOU ASSHOLE. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE CHRISTA?" He shouted at Lee.

Lee sighed, going to sit in the corner of the train cart and reflect what he'd done in his life.

All of the sudden, Ben did a trust fall off the top of the train, diving into the sea of walkers.

Yet, no one cared and the train flew into the air and hit a nearby flying Vernon who thought he was a bird, then went to Crawford and killed everything and everyone there including Molly.

Then Kenny walked into the sunset, spazzing around and yelling about boats and urbans ruined his family.

Boats.

* * *

**A/N: Beautiful. **

**Urbans. **


End file.
